and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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