College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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