then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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