Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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