she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize