They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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