We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
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Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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