That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize