Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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