I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize