omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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