I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize