i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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