You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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