Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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