I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
bring money and cleavage
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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