Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize