But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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