I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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