We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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