I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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