Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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