I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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