I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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