you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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