There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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