just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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