I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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