please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize