Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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