what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize