thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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