So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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