Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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