I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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