He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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