Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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