I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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