Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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