im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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