Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
where does the pee come out of this thing
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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