my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize