Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize