I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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