Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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