Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize