I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize