Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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