I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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