1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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