At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pants are for mortals
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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