i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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