if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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