i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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